he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
