i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
