im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
