Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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