Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
