i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
