Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
