She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
