what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize