he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
