Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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