so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
