its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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