is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
