yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
