He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
