Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
