I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
