Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
