I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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