I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
