apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
