were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
