Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
