I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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