Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
