I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
