i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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