I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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