Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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