ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
