I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
