I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
two words...techno handjob
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
