You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
