Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
