I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize