Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize