someone threw a dead crab at me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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