DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just forgot I was standing up.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
