HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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