I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
