I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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