dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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