You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think i have two assholes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
