I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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