Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
