Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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