My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
