remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
