I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize