what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
