he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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