Soap is not a condiment
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize