She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
