I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
