everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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