you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
