I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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