it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize