Your dad touched me again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Everclear isn't food dammit
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize